As a mother, I hope that I am leading my children through their grief in a healthy way. For the most part, my kids talk about Nathan very matter of factly pretty much every single day. He's a part of our family but he just happens to live in Heaven.
Once in a while, their grief will consume them (as it does me) and they will break down. It's hard to watch. It breaks my heart to see their pain and know that I can't fix it. Sometimes they will come home from school saying that they told one of their friends that their baby brother died and they didn't believe them. Or, they will cry because someone at school got a new baby brother and they ask why theirs didn't have to go to Heaven too.
Last week my twins were tasked with making blankets for the sick kids at our local childrens hospital. It's was for their Daisy Girl Scout troop. They had a hard time with the idea. I took out the blanket that someone had given Nathan in the hospital and we talked about how special it was. It was a good lesson about doing something good for someone else even when it makes your heart hurt.
Speaking of hearts, my 12 year old daughter's science class is dissecting animal hearts in school today. She came home from the first day of school this year absolutely hysterical because the teacher announced that they would be doing this at the end of the year. She remembers all of the discussions that we had with the heart surgeons and cardiologists about Nate's heart defect and she is rightfully sensitive. Luckily, she has an amazing teacher who is allowing her to go to the library today during class and skip the dissection. Now if I could just keep all of the other kids from talking about it around her. I know that will be a topic of conversation over the next few days and I can't protect her from that.
I just have to trust that God has a plan for my kids and that He is leading them through these experiences and challenges to grow them. I know that they will be better because of it. It's just that sometimes I wish that they could just be normal and only have to deal with normal age appropriate issues.
WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE #663
2 days ago
Posts
7 comments:
I am positive you are doing a wonderful job with your children and their grief. It's just so sad that as they continue to grow up that there are so many things they must face that bring them to tears. So glad your daughters teacher let her go to the library. Keeping all of you in my prayers.
aww these situations must be so hard. I wouldn't even know how to begin, but it sounds like you are doing just amazing with your kids. Your kids will have a depth of compassion and love that most kids will never reach. Praying for your family!
The conversations I have with my kids about Lilly are truly inspiring. I love hearing what they have to say. I could truly relate to this post.
You're right she is entitled to her emotions, and I am glad that her teacher was very supportive and sensitive to her feelings.
Im sure this is so hard. Kyndra was so young that we haven't had to deal w/ a lot of grief issues and we haven't had to deal much w/ Hannah about it since she wasn't present for her birth or service. I can only wonder what it will be like once Kyndra and Lainey gets older and situations like these arise.
Knowing that this path of grief was God's plans for our kids (as well as ours) has been hard for us too. My oldest was 4 at the time, and went through a pretty rough period with nightmares and behavioral issues. I had no clue how to handle it, except to remind myself that this too was part of God's plan for him, even if I see him hurting...
It is good to know that you and your kids are open with each other. These type of family discussions enables your bond to become stronger and stronger each day.
Watching the pain our kids feel is the hardest part. As much as it hurts, your love and support does help. It is good that your family has a haven of support in one another. An understanding mama does make a difference. And you are understanding and compassionate...and you get it because you are walking it with them. Love and prayers for all of you...
Post a Comment