This is definitely not my favorite place to visit. Far from it in fact. For me, the cemetery is a sad place. Very sad. That's probably why I have only been there three times prior to today. But I wanted to see Nate's grave marker. My husband designed it and had it installed over six months ago and I hadn't seen it yet. It was beautiful. I was very impressed with my husbands selection: Blue granite with a simple font. He wanted to make it just right for Nate and although it took us three years to get it done, it's as perfect as it could be.
There's nothing like seeing your child's name engraved on a grave marker. There's nothing good about that. There's nothing right about that. It's not how it is supposed to be -- for any of us.
I hate that he is in a public place where I can't control who has access to him. I don't know if anyone visits his grave but there are definitely people that I don't want to go there. Family members that completely disrespected his fight for life while he was here with us on earth and then again after his death. I don't want them to be anywhere near him. I guess it's my motherly instinct. I know that God is protecting Nate and it's not my job anymore. I know that no one can hurt him and because of Jesus, he's not even in that grave anymore. But I still wrestle with it.
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9 comments:
Trisha...I am so sorry that you have to see your baby's name on that grave marker. I have never gotten used to seeing our Nate's name on his. It is like someone sucks the breath of me when I see it. He is a gift from God. One day you will get to hold that precious gift again!
Love you.
Continuing in prayer for you.
His stone is beautiful and God is definitely taking care of him.
Hope your feeling well. Your in my thoughts and prayers.
You are so right Christy, there is something deep down in your soul that is WRONG about seeing your child's name on a grave marker. I understand that horrible, sinking feeling...
Keeping you in my prayers & thinking of you. It is so nice to know that God is taking good care of him.
Beautiful marker.
{{{Hugs}}}
I know, Trisha. Seeing your babies name in stone is so wrong. After losing Chase, I never used the old phrase (that I had used so much before) "set in stone" because it had such a literal meaning to me now. We are forever changed....in so many ways.
So sorry about the family problems. Focus on you and focus on that little rainbow you are growing......You are so blessed and that will outshine all the negative trying to hover around you. Love you.
xoxo
Yes, having to see your child's name on a grave marker is horribly wrong.
I am so far behind, I'm sorry! Nates marker is perfect <3
I am so excited that you are expecting your rainbow <3 Many prayers that he or she is HEALTHY!
The cemetery is not my favorite place, either...and I rarely go. And, you are right that there is nothing good or right about seeing your child's name on a grave marker. I'm so sorry...
Looking forward to the day when we dance with our babes in heaven, when all will be made right.
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