N.A.T.E. My one and only wish would be to have Nathan back. I wouldn't change any other part of my life.
Just him. That's all that I would want.
The other day, my 7 year old twins asked me this question and I answered as I always do. "I would wish to have Nathan back". It's been a while since that question has come up and they seemed very surprised at my answer.
They replied "but then we wouldn't have Brady".
They were right. So very right. 99.5% right. I can pretty much guarantee that Brady would not be here if Nate would have lived.
I love Brady. I love all of my kids. More than anything. I wouldn't trade any of them. I would never even think about it. But, now this question is complicated. Because it involves a trade...of sorts. If Nate didn't die, then I wouldn't have Brady. So how do I answer this question now? I wish more than anything that I could have Nate back again. To watch him grow. To kiss his sweet cheeks. To see him smile. But doing so would mean that I would have never brought Brady into this world. And I can't even imagine my life without him.
So, I guess that I need to re-think my answer to this question. And I might add that I am so very relieved that I don't have to make a decision like this. Thank you God for NOT giving me this type of power.
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5 comments:
Brady is cute as a button! ((HUGS))
It def becomes a loaded question b/c it is the same for many of us. If our children had not died we may not have had the children that came after. And it IS hard to imagine life without them. Still....we wish we could have them all.
That is an interesting question... I think losing a child is horrific, but it teaches so much. It changes you in every way, good and bad. That just gave me a lot to think about.
Brady is adorable, and I can't believe he's already 4 months old. Thank you for your comment you left yesterday. It made me cry. I know you know how much it means when someone says they think about or remember you child. :)
Love,
Ash
A conflict we live with in our hearts AND heads with...forever. Nonetheless we love them both. Hugs dear friend. He is precious!!!
What a hard question.. I agree you can see it in both ways! You are an amazing mama and each of your kids is amazing! I can tell through posts and pictures that they have so much love for you and each other! Hugs mama
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