They say that bad things come in 3's.
If that is true...then 2011 is going to be a wonderful year.
Hoping and praying that it's better than the last 3.
Happy New Year!!!
YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS........
3 days ago
Friday, December 31, 2010
welcome 2011
They say that bad things come in 3's.
If that is true...then 2011 is going to be a wonderful year.
Hoping and praying that it's better than the last 3.
Happy New Year!!!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
from the mouth of babes
Kyla - "Mommy, I know a secret. It doesn't matter about the presents. The only thing that matters for Christmas is your family."
Kaylee- "And Jesus. Family and Jesus are all you need for Christmas."
I knew that I was lucky. I knew that I had amazing kids. When we were watching a Christmas movie on the couch last night and my 6 year old twins ran over and whispered that in my ears...it was confirmed.
Kaylee- "And Jesus. Family and Jesus are all you need for Christmas."
I knew that I was lucky. I knew that I had amazing kids. When we were watching a Christmas movie on the couch last night and my 6 year old twins ran over and whispered that in my ears...it was confirmed.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
tis the season
The Christmas season has once again arrived. I was surprised that it kinda snuck up on me this year. I wasn't dreading it like I have the past two years. Rather than trying to survive the month of December, I am choosing to celebrate it. And it's not requiring a lot of effort to do that this year. After years of praying for strength, I feel noticeably stronger and more resilient. A good confirmation that I am healing.
Our grief counselor asked us what our plans were for celebrating Christmas with family this year. The truth is, we don't really have any. Christmas is next week and we have yet to be invited to a family event. It's likely that we will eventually be invited but I doubt that they expect us to come. We would like to make an appearance if it works with our plans. But neither of us want to spend any significant amount of time with family.
Hopefully, if we attend, we will be able to escape criticism for the day. Family always finds a way to attack us or blame us for their failures to help after Nate died. We are pretty much viewed as the bad guys now. Strange that our son died and we are the bad guys, but I completely understand why. We haven't been attending family events for the past 2 1/2 years. When someone is absent or not conforming to "the norm" it's easy to view them as the problem. Weird...but so very true in this situation. There's even a scripture about people who point out the specks in the eyes of others while avoiding the plank that they have in their own.
It used to hurt. A lot. We can laugh about it now. The truth is...they are just as broken as we are. The difference is...we KNOW that we're broken. And, most importantly, I know that God will explain it all to them someday. I don't need to.
Our grief counselor asked us what our plans were for celebrating Christmas with family this year. The truth is, we don't really have any. Christmas is next week and we have yet to be invited to a family event. It's likely that we will eventually be invited but I doubt that they expect us to come. We would like to make an appearance if it works with our plans. But neither of us want to spend any significant amount of time with family.
Hopefully, if we attend, we will be able to escape criticism for the day. Family always finds a way to attack us or blame us for their failures to help after Nate died. We are pretty much viewed as the bad guys now. Strange that our son died and we are the bad guys, but I completely understand why. We haven't been attending family events for the past 2 1/2 years. When someone is absent or not conforming to "the norm" it's easy to view them as the problem. Weird...but so very true in this situation. There's even a scripture about people who point out the specks in the eyes of others while avoiding the plank that they have in their own.
It used to hurt. A lot. We can laugh about it now. The truth is...they are just as broken as we are. The difference is...we KNOW that we're broken. And, most importantly, I know that God will explain it all to them someday. I don't need to.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
an un-planned hiatus
I can't believe that I have been away from blogging for almost 3 months. WOW! I never intended on doing that. Life was spinning out of control so I made a decision to dedicate the time that I had been spending on blogging on God instead. I started focusing on daily prayer, bible study and devotion. I was just desperate to break out of the cycle that my life was revolving in.
Days turned into weeks which turned into months. Unintentionally. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. I truly miss reading about every one's events and lives. Walking away from that was really difficult. It was a daily addiction for me. Blogging and the wonderful community of people that I have met through this venue have greatly contributed to my healing so it's weird to think that stepping away from that support would allow me to heal even more. But it has. God has been trying to teach me a lesson in "being still" for quite a while and I am finally figuring out what that means.
Thank you to all of you who have continued to pray for me and my family. Even though I "disconnected", I feel supported. That is something that I never thought was possible.
Days turned into weeks which turned into months. Unintentionally. I can't believe how fast the time has gone by. I truly miss reading about every one's events and lives. Walking away from that was really difficult. It was a daily addiction for me. Blogging and the wonderful community of people that I have met through this venue have greatly contributed to my healing so it's weird to think that stepping away from that support would allow me to heal even more. But it has. God has been trying to teach me a lesson in "being still" for quite a while and I am finally figuring out what that means.
Thank you to all of you who have continued to pray for me and my family. Even though I "disconnected", I feel supported. That is something that I never thought was possible.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
not long enough
Today is our last day of Summer vacation. Tomorrow, my 4 kids will be off to school. I always have a tough time with this. I miss my kids when they are at school. I much prefer to have them home with me. This year is especially hard. My twins are starting Kindergarten. Now it's official. I no longer have babies or pre-schoolers. My kids are growing up and it's happening too fast. I am not ready for this but I have to learn to embrace this new Season of life that I am facing.
This Summer has been both good and bad. It was a very cool Summer so I feel a little ripped off. I think it was the coldest on record in 20 years. We only made it to the beach 3 times and didn't get very many pool days but, I do have so many wonderful memories. My kids really are at a fun age and we had a blast doing all sorts of stuff. Along with the good, we had a multitude of challenges thrown at us. I honestly never could have imagined that my life would be THIS hard. Just when I think that I am over the hill and can put on cruise control again, there is another obstacle in front of me. And the obstacles aren't minor pebbles...they are major boulders.
It has really lead me to question if I will ever get back to a "happy" life. A life where I don't have to work so incredibly hard. A life where I can go for months at a time without having to deal with major stuff. Oh, how I long for that but I just don't see it ever happening again.
This weekend, my devotion was this verse:
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. Psalm 16:5
It was perfect timing. I need to learn to accept this life that God has assigned me. I need to become content with who I am and what I have and not let that be defined by present circumstances. Easier said than done but I am working hard on it.
This Summer has been both good and bad. It was a very cool Summer so I feel a little ripped off. I think it was the coldest on record in 20 years. We only made it to the beach 3 times and didn't get very many pool days but, I do have so many wonderful memories. My kids really are at a fun age and we had a blast doing all sorts of stuff. Along with the good, we had a multitude of challenges thrown at us. I honestly never could have imagined that my life would be THIS hard. Just when I think that I am over the hill and can put on cruise control again, there is another obstacle in front of me. And the obstacles aren't minor pebbles...they are major boulders.
It has really lead me to question if I will ever get back to a "happy" life. A life where I don't have to work so incredibly hard. A life where I can go for months at a time without having to deal with major stuff. Oh, how I long for that but I just don't see it ever happening again.
This weekend, my devotion was this verse:
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. Psalm 16:5
It was perfect timing. I need to learn to accept this life that God has assigned me. I need to become content with who I am and what I have and not let that be defined by present circumstances. Easier said than done but I am working hard on it.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
one proud mama
I just had to share what my kids did last week.
The organizers of "SOCCER FOR HOPE" ask the kids attending the camp to get donations for pediatric cancer research at CHLA during their week at camp. My daughter was determined to raise a lot of money but I never guessed that she would raise as much as she did. Last year she worked hard going around our neighborhood and raised $320. I thought that was amazing.
This year she and my son went knocking on doors in our neighborhood EVERY day after soccer camp. They received donations from more than 50 people. I was shocked at how many people that we don't know would give them $10 or $20. One little girl was home alone and even gave them $2 of her own money. So amazing! In addition to going door to door, my daughter also wrote and sent a handful of emails to a few others (our friend list isn't very long these days). She only wanted to ask 1 family member. I think that even she is recognizing that "family" is not a part of our life anymore.
At the end of 4 days she raised $704. PLUS she asked for a donation from our brand new Chick-fil-A restaurant and got them to donate $300 in food to next years camp. All in all, she (and Noah too) raised
I think that is AMAZING and I am such a proud mama. I just love that their hearts are leading them to do this. I can't wait to see what they accomplish in their lives. I have a feeling that they are going to change the world!!!!
The organizers of "SOCCER FOR HOPE" ask the kids attending the camp to get donations for pediatric cancer research at CHLA during their week at camp. My daughter was determined to raise a lot of money but I never guessed that she would raise as much as she did. Last year she worked hard going around our neighborhood and raised $320. I thought that was amazing.
This year she and my son went knocking on doors in our neighborhood EVERY day after soccer camp. They received donations from more than 50 people. I was shocked at how many people that we don't know would give them $10 or $20. One little girl was home alone and even gave them $2 of her own money. So amazing! In addition to going door to door, my daughter also wrote and sent a handful of emails to a few others (our friend list isn't very long these days). She only wanted to ask 1 family member. I think that even she is recognizing that "family" is not a part of our life anymore.
At the end of 4 days she raised $704. PLUS she asked for a donation from our brand new Chick-fil-A restaurant and got them to donate $300 in food to next years camp. All in all, she (and Noah too) raised
$1,004 in 4 days!!!!
I think that is AMAZING and I am such a proud mama. I just love that their hearts are leading them to do this. I can't wait to see what they accomplish in their lives. I have a feeling that they are going to change the world!!!!
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