DO what you SAY

If you say that you're going to do something...follow through.

Listen closely to what I am saying. You can console me by listening to me.

Job 21:2

You would not believe how many times people told us things that they didn't follow through on. If you say you're going to bring dinner, bring it. If you say you're going to call, call. If you say you're going to have them over for dinner, invite them. If you say you're going to come over at 2pm -- be there at 2pm. You may think that they won't remember but they probably will. And not only will they remember, but they will look at that offer as a life raft in front of them. They know that it's there but they don't know when they'll be able to grab it. They want to grab it. They need to grab it. But you have to give it to them before they can. Don't be one of those people that has good intentions. Intentions don't help. Be one of those people that has good results.


Why--

Grief is like a deep dark pit that completely sucks you in. It's dark, lonely and scary. It's miserable to be there alone which is why it's so important to reach out to people that are hurting. When you are grieving, you are just trying to get through life day by day and sometimes hour by hour.

When someone offers help, the grief stricken person will think "that person cares and they're going to help me". They are relieved that they don't have to figure out how they are going to get through that day because they have someone to help them. It is like telling someone that's drowning that you are going to throw them a life raft. They believe that you will. They count on it. When you don't... it's just devastating. You have no idea how dependent you become on others when you are drowning. You need to be rescued and not teased.

Or, if you make plans for 2pm on Saturday. Come at 2pm. For us, we would wake up knowing that all we had to do would be survive until 2pm and then help was coming. Just like a kid keeps looking at the clock to see how many more minutes it is until their b-day party. That is exactly what we would do. We would count the minutes! We would use all of our strength to make it till 2pm. Thinking that at 2, someone would help us and let us float on their boat for a while. If that person was late or canceled, it would completely wipe us out. We believed that they would help us. We trusted that they would follow through. We thought that help was coming at 2 and didn't save any energy to keep swimming on our own. It's really hard to explain --but extremely painful so don't do it!