my thoughts on JOY

I have been attending a women's bible study at my church for the past few weeks. It's a Women of Faith study and the subject matter is JOY. I have to admit that I haven't learned much through the study.  I am sure that it's a good study but God gave me a "real-life application" that taught me more than any author possibly could.  I wasn't able to go this morning so I thought that I would spend this time writing down some of my thoughts on this subject.


Back in the Fall, I was on a quest to find Joy. I was ready to end my season of grieving but I didn't know how. I used to have what I considered to be the perfect life. I had everything that I had ever wanted. I was happy. So happy. But after I watched my son die a horrific death, it was impossible for me to ever have that same type of happiness. No matter what I did or where I looked, I couldn't find it. It was this realization that taught me my lesson on JOY.


I have learned a lot about JOY. I have learned what JOY is not and I have learned what JOY is. I believe that my lessons and my interpretations are personal. This is what God has taught me in this season of life.

What JOY is NOT



Joy is NOT material. Getting a new car or buying a new house cannot bring me JOY. Spending an afternoon at the mall shopping cannot bring me JOY.  Having my house perfectly decorated and impeccably cleaned will not bring me JOY.  Surely, they can bring a lot of happiness. But happy isn't JOY.


JOY is NOT automatic. This world is full of hardship which is caused by sin. Our inability to "hit the mark" on everything allows bad stuff to happen. We don't automatically embrace JOY.  Sometimes...oftentimes, life is hard and our trials are real.


JOY is NOT circumstantial. Enjoying a luxury vacation does not guarantee us JOY. Getting a job promotion does not automatically make us JOYFUL.  Winning the lottery cannot ensure us a lifetime of JOY. 


What JOY IS

JOY IS a choice. In every situation, we have the option to choose joy. 18 months ago, I did a bible study on Philippians. I vividly remember sitting in my group while everyone was discussing Phil 4:4

Rejoice in the Lord, always. I will say it again: Rejoice!


I sat there dumbfounded. I was immersed in a huge pit of grief. I didn't understand how God could even suggest that I could rejoice. I had just buried a son and was abandoned by most everyone I knew. What could I possibly rejoice about? I was actually angry at God for implying that JOY was even possible at that moment in time. I just didn't understand.


But as I have navigated through this trial, I have learned the meaning of Phil 4:4. I have learned that even in the worst circumstances, God gives us something to rejoice about. Even though I buried a son, I can rejoice that God gave me 4 other healthy children. Even though I have watched my kids sob hysterically about the death of their baby brother, I can rejoice that God is teaching them empathy and compassion. Even though I cannot hug and kiss my son everyday, I can rejoice that I will get to spend eternity with him.


JOY IS from God. JOY is a gift. We have to choose to receive it but God is the only one that can give it. There is nothing that any person alone can give us that will bring us JOY. God has to be a part of it.  For example, if someone gives us a hug, we have the choice to be closed off and shut down. Or, we have the choice to embrace the warmth that God has allowed us to feel by bringing that person into our life.


I believe that Satan is the only one that can take our JOY away. When we choose to receive JOY from God, there are no people or circumstances that will take it away. Sometimes, Satan sneaks in while we are unaware of his presence and steals it from us. But, we have to allow him to do that.


Last week, I was sitting at my son's baseball game. I was such a proud mama cheering on my sweet boy. I was choosing to rejoice in this blessing that God had given me. My beautiful, healthy little boy.  Then...suddenly, my thoughts switched and my JOY turned to sadness. My thoughts were consumed with the fact that I would never get to see Nate play baseball. That I would get to cheer for him to hit the ball or take a picture of him in his cute little uniform. I realized what was happening. I realized that Satan was stealing my JOY. That I was allowing him to remind me of all of the things that I didn't have instead of focusing on what I did have. I had to make a choice. A choice to re JOICE! 

The past two Mother's Days have NOT been JOYFUL.  I was making a choice to focus on the fact that one of my children was missing.  That my family was not complete.  That my arms that were supposed to be holding a baby boy were empty.  This year, I made a different choice.  It was deliberate and it did require effort.  But I chose to rejoice in the Lord and the blessings that He has given me.  I chose to embrace the children that were with me and celebrate that I was given the privilege of raising them.


I am learning to recognize when I allow Satan to steal my JOY.  I am learning to ask God on a daily basis to allow me to focus on what I have and not on what I don't.  I am learning to appreciate this lesson that God has taught me and the new found perspective that I have.  God is not of this world and the further that I travel down this path, the more my life becomes aligned with His.  I can honestly say that my life is full of JOY.  I may not exude it on the outside, but I feel the peace of it on the inside.  I have found that a JOY filled life is much better than a HAPPY life.  I'll choose JOY any day!