...all my kids stockings together.
I can't begin to tell you how it just melts my heart to see all my kids names together. Oh, how I wish that Nate could be here. There is nothing that I would want more. But, my reality is that he is not ever going to be. So, this is as good as it gets.
I had a difficult day with the inlaws yesterday. I know that they mean no harm but I find it very difficult to be with people that don't get it. It's so superficial. There was absolutely no sensitivity to the fact that my niece was there (the same age as Nate would be) and that she was following me around everywhere. My SIL apologized for it but didn't do ANYTHING about it. Then we were given an ornament for Nate. It was purchased last year but they didn't give it to us for fear that it would upset us. Upset us? We were already upset. It would have meant so much to have someone....anyone... acknowledge our son. None of them ever even mention his name. Oh, how I am so glad that the day is over.
There is a large family get together today. We are not attending. We do not have any desire to spend our holiday with people that abandoned us when we were drowning and then blamed us (mostly me) for their poor behavior. Instead, we are taking the kids ice skating and to In-n-Out burger for dinner. It will be a good day. I am going to make sure of that.
I am grateful that this year is better than the last and hopeful that next year will be better than this year. Hugs to all of you that are navigating the same path. It's extremely difficult but we will persevere.
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11 comments:
Your stockings for your children are so beautiful. I pray for your comfort. I am so sorry about your day yesterday. I am glad you are staying home today, that is where all the love you will ever need resides. God Bless.
Praying for peace, comfort, and joy to you and your beautiful family this Christmas! I love the stockings - what a beautiful tribute to all of your children!
Trisha, just please be aware of how much influence you're letting these family members have over you. They don't deserve that kind of power.
Merry Christmas, sweet sister. I love you!
Praying for you and your family! I pray that the Lord comforts you at this time.
I love your stockings! I was just talking to my husband last night that I want to get the kids new stockings with their names on them. They are beautiful.
Merry Christmas from our family to yours!
I think it's wonderful you have stockings for all of your children. But you are letting other people spoil your joy and you are probably not even aware that your husband and children are effected by it. It's very sad you lost a child but life goes on for other people and if you've never experienced it you never know what someone goes through. You have to get past this for the sake of your own family. Holding grudges only kills your heart.
Wishing you a peaceful Christmas Trisha and joy for your children. Hugs
this is such a hard time. I can't believe how hard it is. THinking of you...and jealous you can go to in-n-out. i really like that place.
hugs to you trisha,
Christy
Trisha--I just saw the comment above and anyone who says, "it's very sad you lost a child BUT..." does not understand. No one who has gone through that would ever say that, I believe. I read your blog often and though I know it is a place to vent, I see your pictures and I read about your other children and I know that you have a lot of blessings in your life and that YOU KNOW THAT. There's a difference between holding a grudge and not understanding the other person. Who wrote that comment has not lost a child and, admittedly, does not know what you are going through. I have had exactly the same barrier in some of my friendships since Chase died. There is just no way to get it unless you've been there. And therefore, like the quote I posted on my blog the other day, we need those around us to "just be there" for us, sometimes with no words, even.
I am wishing you a peaceful evening and a morning of love, joy and a lot of chaos. I know it will be fun, but know that I will be crying with you on the inside all the while.
xoxo
I don't often comment, but I have been reading your blog for a while and felt the need to comment today. It bothers me when people say unkind things and then hide behind anonymity (as above). I believe it is just plain cruel and cowardly.
I have never lost a child, so I can't say that I know how that feels. But I do feel that nobody should tell anyone who has lost someone that they should just "get past this." Losing someone isn't something you ever "get over." The hurt is always there, and I can only imagine there is no greater pain than the loss of a child.
Trisha, I hope you feel the support that all of us in blogland have for you and that you are able to keep these unkind comments from bothering you. There is no timetable on grief and no rule book on how to grieve and remember those lost. You have to just do what feels right for you and your family as I am sure you have been doing all along. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family.
I love seeing all the stockings together. It is as it should be. Definitely. I hope you have a fun time today skating and eating at that burger place. Never ate at one of those before. Are they good?
Trisha, the anonymous person above doesn't get it and is just another person giving advice when they have no clue. You know how I feel. Love to you my friend!!
Hi there, I've read your blog a few times but haven't commented.
I don't know who wrote the anonymous comment but I thought they meant get past the animosity with your family, not get past the death. I have to say the few times I've read your page, it sounds like the family is trying. They didn't give you the ornament because they thought it might upset you, they didn't know how much you wanted it then. They gave it to you this year so I think that means they are trying.
I love the stockings! I commented about the ways you include Nathan in your Christmas and meant it for this post...but put it on the one with the picture of your children. So...if what I said was confusing...please know I meant to leave it here! Me and my willy-nilly clicking! =)
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