Let's face it, it's easier to win than lose. Losing isn't fun. Winning is great. Winning FEELS great. But losing is an important lesson in life. If we never lose, we will never be able to fully appreciate what it feels like to win. What it feels like to climb back up the mountain after being thrown from it. What it feels like to beat a competitor that previously beat us.
That is where my lesson is. I am learning how to lose in a way that I never previously thought about before. Sure, I've been a loser many times in life. I have lost competitions, I have lost promotions, I have lost contests, I have lost money, I have lost friendships and now I have lost a child. I don't typically like to think of Nate's death as a "loss". To me, it sounds as though he is missing. He is NOT missing, he is in Heaven. But, the fact that I can't be with him here on earth is a loss. I lost the ability to raise him up. That is a loss that few people understand. That is a loss that few people want to understand.
So, here I am faced with the challenge of overcoming that loss. Of rising up and living in a world where most Moms are winners and not losers in the respect of having children. It feels good to be in the company of other losers. It feels good to be understood and not judged. But this world (at least the part that I live in) is comprised of more winners than losers. I am grateful for those that understand without having to experience a personal loss but in general, this world does not have perfect understanding.
I want to be a good loser. It gives you a perspective on life that few understand. It gives you more compassion than you ever imagined. It gives you an appreciation for people that is not easily found. It gives you motivation to keep going even when the mountain seems insurmountable.
Perspective, Compassion, Appreciation & Motivation. In my opinion, those are qualities of a winner.
WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE #663
2 days ago
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9 comments:
Love your post, I agree with you or babies are not lost! I have not thought about loss the way you did, I think it will make it easier when I hear that term. You are a winner you are a great mommy who has a great deal of Perspective, Compassion, Appreciation & Motivation.
((hugs))
Nicolle
Trisha, you have such a gift with words. I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog! Have you ever considered publishing?
Beautifully said. I need to work on being a good loser too. It's just that this loss is so unlike any other, and I don't know how to get there. I have definitely seen a change in my perspective on life experiences, my compassion in being comfortable reaching out to others in similar situations, and my appreciation for the people close to my heart. Maybe the motivation will come. Thanks for always giving me new things to think about with my grief. Hugs, Krista
I wish I could help you. I am so sorry. I pray for your comfort and strength all the time. Someone today mentioned the book "I Wish You Enough" by Bob Perks. They said it was wonderful and gives you a great way to look at things. They said something like "If we don't have the rain we never appreciate the sunshine", I wonder if this book would help.
Of course I know that the only thing that would help is to have Nate back in your arms.
((HUGS))
Love this perspective!!!! It is not fun to lose that's for sure. Learning to be a gracious loser.
What a great perspective.. And this helps me in coping with my kids "loss" of their brother as well, for they also gain perspective, compassion, etc.
Thank you.
A beautiful perspective, Trisha. Thanks so much for sharing it!
Trisha, what an admirable goal. You are right, we are surrounded by winners, and feel like losers. But perhaps in our losing, we can feel the peaks of winning once again. For who can know TRUE joy, if they have never known TRUE pain?
This post and the post about being a wounded healer and the conversation I just had with my husband about it has given me more hope than I've had in 3 months. Thanks for the post.
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