Life seems to be on hold for the moment and that isn't a bad thing. It can be frustrating because I want it to move forward. Actually, I want to get back to the wonderful life that I had 3 years ago. I know that going back isn't an option but I really want to feel the way that I did back then. I really loved my life and I thanked God every day for it.
In the past 2 years I have faced many trials. Any one of these trials by itself would be difficult but all of them on top of one another is really too much for anyone to handle. I am surprised that I am still standing to be honest with you.
So I have been working hard on myself and my relationship with God. I really want an end to the madness. The evil one is telling me that all of this has happened because I am a horrible, worthless person. Sometimes, I believe him. But God is telling me that He is making me into the person that He wants me to be. That He is refining and purifying me and that I will come out of this.
So I am trying to be content with the stillness. I am smiling and appreciative that God cares enough about me to spend this much time on me. I have faith that God will lead me through the dark skies and the heavy clouds. I have faith that He will carry me when I ask (I am a control freak you know!). I am so thankful that today did not bring a new trial and I am hopeful that I will soon be through this storm. I look forward to the day that I can once again look up and see nothing BUT... Blue Sky.
WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE #663
2 days ago
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9 comments:
Praying for you Trisha! I know that feeling like "I can't handle one more thing." Around the months my daughter was diagnosed and died, we had multiple other problems, one after another. We felt taxed, at the end of our rope. Completely stretched to the limit. It does seem these things happen together.
Your soft heart to God gives me peace that He will use these things to mold you and grow you. I am so glad in times like these that we worship a God who specializes in making good things from our bad!
I so admire your resolve to TRY to think positively...boy it can be hard, can't it Especially when one thing after another happens, and for you that one thing after another has been some pretty heavy stuff that would drag anyone down.
I was just wondering if you can explain a little further how your family let you down? I've been reading your blog a while and I'm curious exactly what they did/didn't do?
You sound patient...do you *feel* patient? (!) Iknow it's hard. Holding your hand, waiting along with you. Hugs my friend.
You have been working so hard. It is not fair that life has to be so hard. How is your husband doing? (with the diabetes, with no family support and with the loss of Nate)
Don't listen to the evil one, it will try to bring you down, especially when your working really close with God. I will keep you in my prayers. You have made great progress.
Thinking of you and praying for you.
I am trying to be more the person that God wants me to be. It gets hard when life's trials come. I feel tested but know that God will lead the way.
((hugs)) Thinking of you
I know what you mean about wanting to go back. I'd like to think that I am a better person, wife, mother, Christian because of the trial I have endured. I look forward to that blue sky too....
I often wonder where God wants me to be and if I am getting there. Am I even close? Will I know when I do get there?
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