I'm tired of smiling through the tears in my eyes
I'm tired of laughing when I feeling like crying
I'm tired of feeling like I am invisible to the world
I'm tired of cringing when I hear about everyone else's happiness
I'm tired of being filled with fear that I will face another tragedy
I'm tired of hoping that people will want to be my friend
I'm tired of people ignoring the fact that my son died
I'm tired of family pretending like nothing ever happened
I'm tired of living with fear and anger
I'm tired of praying for God to finally say "yes"
I'm tired of waiting for the pain to go away
I'm tired of wanting my old life back
I'm tired of wishing that people would understand me
I'm tired of looking up at gray clouds in the sky
I'm tired of wondering if I'll ever be happy again
I'm ready to smile with pure joy and happiness
I'm ready to laugh because I love my life
I'm ready to be a part of this world rather than watch it pass me by
I'm ready to rejoice in the blessings of others
I'm ready to trust God with my life and my future
I'm ready to BE a friend instead of always needing a friend
I'm reading to tell people about my son so that he is not forgotten
I'm ready to forgive family for failing miserably
I'm ready to trust God and denounce Satan
I'm ready to be content with my family as it is and not how I want it to be
I'm ready to tell the pain to leave so that joy can replace it
I'm ready to embrace my life and treasure what I have
I'm ready to accept that some people will never understand
I'm ready for my world to be filled with blue sky
I'm ready to be happy!!!
Really, I'm ready to be happy!!! I just need to figure out how to get there.
WEDNESDAY HODGEPODGE #663
2 days ago
Posts
18 comments:
Couldn't have said it better. God has given you a gift...
Loving you, friend. =)
Nicely put. Very nice. I am stuck somewhere in between "I'm tired of..." and "I'm ready..."
AMEN!!!
i heard once that
Happy is BECAUSE of outside circumstances...
Joy is REGARDLESS of outside circumstances.
That's how i think God planned it for us. We are left in this world for this lifetime, trying to find happy...and really, this world is full of sorrow and death and empty promises. But Joy of the Lord is the promise of our next life and resurrection. I think it's ok to kind of know we won't find "happy" here. To know we won't ever FEEL settled here..is a good thing. We have the hope of tomorrow. Waiting with you in that hope for joy to return to us. Until we feel it, we'll live with hope that it will return.
sorry to be so "preachy" today. Just got out of bible study. :)
i will paddle with you in any feeling you have. And i will encourage you to keep paddling and i won't paddle ahead of you either!!! loveu.
Good For you...I pray that you can get to that happy place!
That is my prayer for you. That you again find true happiness!
What a prayer and a beautiful post....
So beautiful, so true!
I am hoping you can find the way to happy. You sure deserve it!! I like what Christina wrote about happiness and joy.
I pray that you find it again one day my friend!
I am going to share that prayer with you today, thats exactly how i feel. Our children would want us to be happy. I imgaine them watching from heaven and being upset by our tears, so its with that image i try and smile. Also for my other children which i also love with all my heart. Hugs to you xxx
I do the same as Sara to get me through tougher times...imagine that my baby boy wouldn't want me to be crying. It's so hard because so often I feel I have every reason to cry, and then push the reasons not to aside. I'm glad you're ready Trisha. I'm a ways behind you on this path so I really am not. But I am happy you are. It gives me hope.
xxxooo
Christy
Dear Trisha - We all can respond in some way to what you have written - we can identify with the words - understand - and share with you the place where you are today. From so far away I can send you my hugs and my prayers - that is the wonderful part of being sisters in the Lord - we're not just friends we're family!
I will continue in prayer for you and yours.
Happiness is a Choice, get the book it's great. Everyday you have to tell yourself. I CHOOSE JOY! God gives us that joy when we can find it nowhere else.
It is just so sad and so unfair. I wish I could help. I wish I had all the perfect answers to make the pain go away. Your in my prayers and in my heart. ((HUGS))
Trisha,
I understand completely how you feel. I also am ready for happiness and joy. I find that there are days when I truly feel it and others when it feels so very far away (much like my feelings on God). I believe it is a choice that we must make every minute of every day whether we are going to let our grief consume us or not. Sometimes the choice isn't really a choice at all though because the feeling is so oppressive.
I will continue to pray for you....That you will see more Blue Skies as the days go on....
Thank you for stopping over at my blog. I will keep you in my daily prayers, praying for you to get pregnant very soon. I can only imagine how dificult it is for you with Nate being gone and not becoming pregnant. ((HUGS))
Bittersweet: Somewhere between the slow motion of loss and the fast forward of desire. dlp
Trisha, I read your response to my post yesterday, and then headed out for the hour + drive to Columbus. Listening to "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller, and thinking how appropriate it is to OUR circumstances. I cried, for both of us. Being hopeful, wven when it's painful. We will serve Him, worship Him, run the race, even while we wait for that BFP! Listen to the song - I hope it brings you the same peace.
And what do I have to do to make you a Facebook friend? Look me up!
Post a Comment