October

I've been trying to get some photos up from the birthday parties but life has just been so busy.  I should be doing that right now.  But, I felt a strong need to write this post instead.

October is here.  It's always been my least favorite month of the year.  It's dark when we have to get up for school which makes climbing out of bed very difficult.  It's dark after dinner so we can't play outside anymore.  There's a chill in the air and that doesn't work well for a tank top and flip flops type of girl like me (although that's what I'm wearing today).  Sickness starts spreading around like crazy.  The blue skies diminish and are replaced by gray, cloudy skies.  And...all of the yucky Halloween decorations come out of the boxes and are prominently displayed in front of our neighbors houses.

I've always struggled with Halloween.  I know that it's Satan's holiday and not Gods.  But, I thought that it would be okay if I just dressed my kids in fun costumes that allowed  them to pretend to be someone else.  I thought that it was okay as long as I didn't dress my kids like a witch or a devil or any other evil creature.  But that strategy doesn't work in my neighborhood.

Last year, October was miserable.  I didn't want to leave my house.  I was constantly faced with skeletons, grave markers, coffins and evil creatures hanging from the tree branches.  It really tormented me.  Today, I find myself feeling the same way.  As I drove my kids to school, I saw numerous grave stones around our neighborhood.  All I could think of was that my son is lying in the ground and I still haven't picked out his stone.  And then I saw the skeletons hanging on the front porches.  All I could think of was what Nate's sweet little body looks like now.  And then I saw a  coffin on someones porch.  All I could think was that my son will never come out of his coffin (his body that is).  I don't know how people can consider these "decorations".  I don't understand why this is a good thing.  It's going to be a long month.